Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
