You were right. It hurts to walk today.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize