i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Randomize
