I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
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Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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