Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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