Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
