It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
