i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
