I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
