all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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