is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
