totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
