What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
