Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
