fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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