i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
