there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
