If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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