so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
