i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
