Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
