No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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