Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
thus making me awesome and them whores
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I pour the whiskey from now on
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
