I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
