She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
