I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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