Why does Corona taste like a burp?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
