She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
