Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
