The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
