i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
There's always time for handjobs
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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