called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
