It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
