Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
