people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
