who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
