Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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