He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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