We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
