You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
tell your sister to shave her snatch
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
