Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
