i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
