just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
