So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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