on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Randomize
