I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
