Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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