According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
My vagina is very pro this idea
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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