Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize