Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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