Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
