That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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