and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
