cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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