I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Randomize
