im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
My day in three words: secret purse cake
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
