p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
they're like a gay fantastic four
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
