if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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