you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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